One dark night, as Jimmy was taking the last bite of his dinner, he noticed the silhouette of a man stealing passed his kitchen window. So Jimmy ran to my house. It was dark out but we still went out and we disappeared into the night. When suddenly, something grabbed Jimmy. He tried to resist but he couldn’t and got dragged away. Nobody ever saw him again until 2011 when some kids found an old random house and found the flashlight that he had dropped. Then they found a bunker so they went into it. An old man called Jimmy was huddled in the corner, shivering with fear...
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A tremendous first 100WC Ross! Your story packs a punch of imagination, action, drama and adventure! It follows the mystery of Jimmy from disappearance to discovery.. and yet leaves the reader with more questions and much to reflect on! Creating curiousity in a reader is key to getting them interested and engaged. Your use of descriptions allow the reader to form images in their mind as they read and your sentence structure brings a maturity to your writing. Well done Ross! Keep up the good work! Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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