100WC- Lucy C 5th

29/5/2020

On May 24th last year, it was scorching hot and I was down at the pool, paddling when I saw a little path by the ditch. Curiosity got the better of me and I took off down the path. It twisted and turned but eventually I came across a river.
I was swimming when a current caught me and started to pull me down the river. I shouted for help but nobody came, I started to gasp and splutter but still nobody. I attempted one more last gurgle and then I saw it, a small dog standing beside a big tree, my saviour.

2 Comments

Ms Tighe link

29/5/2020 12:45:54 pm

Your best story yet, Lucy! I was really impressed by the lead up to getting into the river. It could have been written in plain language, but instead the vocabulary and sentence structure built it up as an adventure that you invited the reader to join you on! 'Curiosity got the better of me and I took off down the path'. What a marvellous way to bring the reader on a journey! You seemed to know when to provide detail and when to just move the plot along. The pace of the story is spot on, I get all the important parts, with no unnecessary words. When the change of tone comes in the story 'a current caught me...' I felt I was being pulled along too! The repetition of the word 'nobody' leaves a really echo and drives home the message that soon it will be too late. The choice of the word 'gurgle' was startling for the reader.. but exactly what the story needed to reach its most dramatic height. And its conclusions 'and then I saw it... my saviour'... supported the reader's need to slow the pace and digest the outcome. Lucy, I was so taken with your story and how expertly it was written. Well done, Lucy, you smashed this 100WC!
Ms. Tighe

Reply

Sandrine (Team 100WC)

31/5/2020 08:21:30 am

What a beautiful story! You really brought us into the story and my heart started beating a bit more when you were caught in the river. I am glad it ended well. Very well done!

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Welcome!!

Welcome to Ms. Tighe's
100 word challenge Blog! Scroll down to
log post 14/06/2020 to see how to complete the challenge!

Each week a prompt is given, which can be a picture or a series of individual words and the children can use up to 100 words to write a creative piece..

So this class blog is only the beginning of our stories' adventures. Children from all over the world can read and comment on our stories! Google 100 Word Challenge to see the associated website.

The prompt changes each week so we encourage you to return often to read our stories!

100WC- Lucy C 5th

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