Ozzy fixed his eyes on the small floating ball as it went downstream, bobbing up and down with the gentle current. He wanted to please his master, but remembered the sudden shock of diving into the ice cool crisp river water in early March. The possibility of making Ben happy of getting loads of tantalising treats made his mouth water. Ozzy thought back to what his mother said when he was a pup before they got separated “never go into the water without your master.” At that moment he heard a faint voice in the distance yes it sounded like Ben coming closer getting louder Ozzy wagged his tail in excitement and knocked Ben to the ground licking him with his long slobbery pink tongue.
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What a terrific opening sentence James! To have the main character as the dog and for us to experience of how a dog might think was so engaging! I was instantly drawn to read your story. The visual images provided in the story came to life as scene in my mind's eye: The ball bobbing up and down; made his mouth water; faint voice in the distance... getting closer'. All of this helped me feel I was actually there at the river bank, if not Ozzy himself! A powerful story that was skillfully written and executed expertly! Well done, James!
Charlie Ryan
30/5/2020 05:43:40 am
Wow James great story Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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