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100WC- Ella K 5th

30/5/2020

2 Comments

 
I walked leisurely along the river bank. The evening sun cast shadows of me onto the river. I loved this place, it was perfect. The barking of a dog broke the silence of the evening. I could see him pacing over and back. Whinning and whimpering. His body trembling. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. I could feel the anxiety starting in my fingertips, The goosebumps were rising on my bare arms. Nervously I ran over to him. In horror, I realised his little pup was dangling from a small wispy branch. I reached in and cradled him... The evening returned to being perfect.
2 Comments
Ms Tighe link
30/5/2020 01:43:51 pm

Another display of your impressive writing talent, Ella! Your story shows your super command of engaging the reader's attention with so many writing skills! Your phrases are terrific... 'the evening sun cast shadows of me over the river'; 'The barking of a dog broke the silence of the evening'... and so many more! I loved how you showed the reader your nervousness with 'The goosebumps were rising on my bare arms'. Your language is so rich and provides the reader with the sense of actually experiencing what the main character is experiencing rather than just a passive eye witness. Your choice of the word 'cradled' was super as it created an atmosphere of love and affection rather than just an action.
You used the 100WC prompt photo brilliantly! Well done, Ella!
Ms. Tighe

Reply
Mrs Moore Team 100 London UK
1/6/2020 10:19:48 am

Hi Ella,
Thank you for sharing your writing with the Challenge this week, this was a cracking good read. You made excellent use of descriptive detail to help me picture things in my mind and used different sentence lengths well to create effects.
You clearly have a talent for writing so keep at it.
Mrs Moore Team 100 London UK

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    Welcome!!

    Welcome to Ms. Tighe's
    100 word challenge Blog! Scroll down to
    log post 14/06/2020 to see how to complete the challenge!


    Each week a prompt is given, which can be a picture or a series of individual words and the children can use up to 100 words to write a creative piece..

    So this class blog is only the beginning of our stories' adventures. Children from all over the world can read and comment on our stories! Google 100 Word Challenge to see the associated website.
    ​
    The prompt changes each week so we encourage you to return often to read our stories! 

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