The night air was heavy. I moved away from the crowd to escape the strong smell of the bonfire. The path slowly disappeared as I descended into the forest. I was lost! My heart was thumping. Inky black eyes were shining at me. I walked faster, IT walked faster. In the distance I saw the outline of a tree by moonlight. I ran towards it. So did IT. As I got closer to the moonlight I could see that IT was a small wild animal. He scrambled one way as I went the other way, never to go back!!
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Wow Ella! You have a unique writing style that moves between poetry 'Inky black eyes were shining at me' and prose 'My heart was thumping' (writing in an ordinary way)! As the story progressed, your use of repetition was expertly done... allowing the story to gain momentum (pace) and with it, the reader's heightened curiousity! I also loved the visuals you created for the reader 'The path slowly disappeared as I descended into the forest'. Brilliant sentence structure that shows your natural ability as a writer. All in 100 words... and your first time with the 100WC! Well done, Ella!
Eimear brennan
1/5/2020 01:51:55 pm
Great story Ella❤️👏🏻 Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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