It was at the dead of night as Marie and I walked into the moonlit forest. We were feeling adventurous that day doing things we would have never done before. The reason was because my older brother called us chickens and to prove him wrong we’ve been doing absurd things all day. Although these things seemed terrifying the sense of achievement and bravery was astonishing. The last thing we wanted to do was the most daunting of all. As we stepped into the forest Marie asked “but should we really do this.” I didn’t even respond. We disappeared into the night….
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What an impressive story, Eimear! You hooked me into your story right from the first sentence with your phrases 'dead of night' and 'moonlit forest'. It provided a great image and set the atmosphere. I love how you explained the motivation for them pushing themselves out of their comfort zone! Usually with only 100 words, writers feel they have to cram the plot into each sentence but you allowed the reader to enjoy the way the characters were thinking, giving your characters a real voice. The way you used such a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures made your story a terrific read. And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, you left me with 'cliff hanger' ending! Wow! Well done, Eimear!! Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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