This was without a doubt the scariest moment in our lives. As we stepped into the forest, all I could think of was all of those horror movies I had seen of people disappearing in a forest. I could tell by Marie’s unsteady breathing that she was as terrified as myself. We heard a crunch of a pile of leaves behind us and we turned around and our deafening screams echoed through the cold night… We reassured each other that it was just a squirrel or something. Just as we thought everything was ok, we turned around and saw my infuriating brother!
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Wow Eimear! This story is packed with superb phrases and vocabulary! I loved 'unsteady breathing' as it showed the reader how the character was feeling. It also brings the reader right into the scene, I felt I was an eyewitness! Again, your use of onomatopoeia 'a crunch' again engaged my senses and your use of the prompt 'deafening screams' at that point, kept me on alert!
Team Gaelscoil Chilldara
17/5/2020 10:02:45 am
A brilliant descriptive piece Eimear, the reader was there beside your characters all the way through your 100 WC. Great use of adjectives, adverbs, using our senses,and a twist at the end, I could finally breathe again when the bother appeared, phew.
James Kelsey
17/5/2020 02:06:28 pm
Got me going their really intriguing Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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