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100WC- Danny G

17/6/2020

2 Comments

 
​Every species of animal gathered for their conference but unrest flared, and order lost, as issues of their leadership arose. 
Then the elephant delivered his speech.  “I remember when we all got along” he began, and they all knew that elephants had great memories.  “I might be the biggest land animal, but that doesn’t make me the best.  Lion might be the “King of the jungle” but that doesn’t make him boss.  Feathered or fur, fast or slow, patterned or plain, big or small, two legged, four legged, no legged, fins or wings – it doesn’t matter!  We all have our place, our purpose.  We need each other to survive.  Let’s work together, not fight over who’s the best.” 
There was a hushed silence followed by thunderous roars, chirps, squeals and hoots. 
2 Comments
Ms Tighe link
19/6/2020 01:06:16 pm

The opening sentence prompted an immediate creation of an image for this scene. It was very powerful, energetic and atmospheric. You reached to the prior experiences of the reader, whether it be from movies such as Madagascar or picture books that I have read to my children. The reference of George Orwell's Animal Farm also comes to mind as your writing continues, that all animals should be considered equal. It is evident that your knowledge of the language and vocabulary of speech writing is of professional standard!! It is obvious to any reader the effort you as the writer has gone to in order to draft this polished narrative... 'Feathered or fur, ... patterned or plain'. The alliteration here demonstrates your talent as a writer, your command of the rhythm and pace of your writing, as well as its content and meaning. Danny, you have taken such pride in your work, I am recommending you for showcase this week. Well done!!
Ms. Tighe

Reply
Mrs Boyce
20/6/2020 10:14:45 am

Hi Danny,
I LOVED your story this week. Well done.
I loved the contrasts you've used.
I agree with Ms Tighe - this is a powerful piece.
It has a very strong message - one that I think our own Government leaders could learn a lot from.

You are a very talented writer & I wish you the very best in the next new exciting chapter in your life.
All the best in Secondary School & Enjoy your Summer Holidays.

I am also nominating your story for SHOWCASE.
It is one of the best stories I have read this year.
Super Work.

Mrs Boyce (Team 100WC)
Cork.
Ireland

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    Welcome!!

    Welcome to Ms. Tighe's
    100 word challenge Blog! Scroll down to
    log post 14/06/2020 to see how to complete the challenge!


    Each week a prompt is given, which can be a picture or a series of individual words and the children can use up to 100 words to write a creative piece..

    So this class blog is only the beginning of our stories' adventures. Children from all over the world can read and comment on our stories! Google 100 Word Challenge to see the associated website.
    ​
    The prompt changes each week so we encourage you to return often to read our stories! 

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